Spirit Led
In todays journal it will be a little more relaxed and chilled compared to my last entry. I was happy I could write that though and maybe spark a flame in some of you. To others it may of been too harsh or far out there but I was just speaking truth, not my truth but the ultimate truth that is scripture, and like Kanye West says "Telling the truth is crazy in a world full of lies". This entry is heavily based on being led by the Holy Spirit. When Jesus Christ died on the cross then went to heaven after his resurrection he allowed his Spirit to live in each one of us. The disciples begged Jesus to stay on earth but He proclaimed that he had to leave. Jesus says how by him ascending to heaven the Spirit of the Lord does not only reside in Jesus but now it resides in each one of us. When we are baptized it is not just by water but also by the Holy Spirit. When we lay down our lives for Christ, he gives us a new one and lives in us. With that spirit comes great authority and strength. All authority that is in heaven is also in us and we can channel that strength to the extent in which we believe. The ending of this entry if for the ladies and y'all even get a poem, so I hope you enjoy. Leave a comment with anything that crossed your mind while reading this!
Coffee Shack 15 minutes from YWAM Campus
The Spirit will Speak
I heard a verse this week that completely changed my portrayal of the Holy Spirit speaking through us and strengthened my faith. The verse is Luke 21:14-15 "Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which non of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict." When I heard this in class it blew my mind and gave me so much confidence. I am someone who likes to be prepared and have a plan. When I feel led by the Holy Spirit to approach someone or pray/talk in large groups I always plan what I am going to say and meditate on it so I say it well. I would then hope that the Holy Spirit would speak through me. After hearing this verse I realized if I am already meditating on what I am going to say beforehand then I leave no room for the Holy Spirit to speak through me and it ends up being my own words. (Now there are exceptions and if speaking in front of a big group you should probably be prepared, but use discernment depending on the situation.) When you approach a conversation without having something in mind and coming to peace beforehand that you are not prepared, you end up walking in faith and surrendering to God's will and he can do epic things. I went to the beach the day after I heard this verse and actually got the opportunity to try it out.
Beach Encounter
I woke up on Tuesday and while at the gym with my open evening schedule in mind I came to the conclusion that I needed a beach day. (Surprisingly I have only been to a sand beach 3 total times while being in Hawaii. I will talk about that in the next paragraph.) It was a beautiful sunny day and I was tired out from two days of always being on the go between classes and exercising on top of a busy weekend. After our mandatory classes and events concluded at 3:00 I made my way to the beach. It was the same beach I got baptized at and while I was there I realized it was exactly one month after I got baptized. I got emotional at the thought of growth that I have experienced in just one month. When I first arrived I saw a man sitting not too far away from me and I felt I should pray for him. I held back from approaching him at first because I let fleshly doubt slip in my mind. When I decided I would pursue him he was on the phone for the next couple hours, so I could not approach. I wanted to wait for a chance to talk to him but until then I just read my Bible and relaxed. I had been reading the gospels since I got to YWAM and was currently in Luke. By no coincidence I came across Luke 21:14-15, the verse in the above paragraph^. Now reading it for myself it resonated even deeper. I wanted to put it into practice by approaching the man on the phone, because faith without works is dead.
The sun had set and I was getting ready to leave. I looked behind me and saw the man leaving. I quickly packed up all my stuff and while I was getting my stuff together, I came to peace in my mind beforehand. I did not meditate on what I was gonna say to this man. I prayed "God I give it to you, and I ask that you give me the words to say". I then started walking toward him and with no follow up question I say to this man "Beautiful sunset, am I right?" From there on I just let the Holy Spirit talk through me. God gave me the words to say and shortly after I initiated the conversation this man who's name is John starts telling me all about his life. John opened up and told me what he was going through and the struggles he's been experiencing in the past couple years. After talking about his pain and trials for awhile I asked him if I could pray for him. He said he grew up Catholic and thought prayer is good so "sure, why not" in a partially disinclined manner. I started praying and once again did not have anything previously in mind. I just allowed the Holy Spirit to speak for me and I prayed for him for probably around 5 minutes. After I finished praying for John, he gave me a huge, long, tight hug and said while crying "thank you so much, I needed this so much, thank you." I was surprised by this reaction after his body language and dialogue hitherto. John then told me that he comes to this beach often and I told him I hoped to see him again. My heart was warmed after this encounter and my faith in the power of the Holy Spirit grew stronger. I realized when you step out in faith and leave room for the Holy Spirit to work, God will show up and do great things.
Bucket List
Before I came to Hawaii I made a bucket list and wrote about it in my 4th journal entry Entry 4: Growth - 9/20/22. It is crazy how my desires have changed after being here for a month. Sure I still want to experience Gods beauty and do things like surf or going snorkeling, but since I have gotten here my favorite thing to do in my free time is spend Intimate time with God. Before I arrived in Hawaii I felt mentally and spiritually content, but I could feel my innermost self craving intimacy. I thought I was craving the intimacy that would come from my future wife, but I was wrong. When I arrived in Hawaii then got baptized again Entry 7: The Journey Begins - 10/2/22 the craving of intimacy has been satisfied by God. The whole time I thought I was craving a future wife, my soul was truly seeking time with God. He is the only one that can actually satisfy. I Love to spend time in his presence and allow him to speak to me. Whether that be through writing poems, praying, reading scripture, or while working out. All of those things are ways I allow my soul to be quenched. The cool thing is, though he quenches my need for Love, every time I get a taste, I want to draw nearer to him and grow deeper in our relationship.
God is always with us and can encounter any one of us at any time, but we can so easily miss it if we do not slow down and allow room in our life for him. If we are always on the move, and do not allow him to interrupt our lives then it can be easy to grow distant. It is not God that walks away from us, it is us who walk away from him. God loves to spend time with us and loves when we give him what is truly on our hearts. It is through our honesty and vulnerability that we can start to see him moving and working in our lives. An amazing example of God showing up in my quiet time with him took place last night. I was in the prayer room on campus and going back and forth between reading my Bible and praying. While deep in prayer I could hear my mothers voice mixed in with the worship song playing through my headphones. It was because it was a worship song we always sang in church during my childhood and through memory I could hear her voice singing along like I had heard so many times before. This made me want to finish a poem I started over a month ago dedicated to her. While looking for my mom's poem I came across a different poem that I started on the same day. It was a poem I started randomly writing for this girl I knew a long time ago. We still talk every now and then and I felt led to start her a poem but I totally forgot about it until I came across it just last night. I decided to finish the poem allowing my typing fingers to be led by the Holy Spirit. This is the poem I ended up writing her. Half was from a month ago and the other half was finished last night.
Its Okay, You're Okay
It’s Okay, you’re okay
You're gonna be a good wife
I know you’ve had boy troubles in your life
But relax
it’s okay, you’re okay
You love kids and love-to-love.
Your heart is warmed by helping others
And sometimes because you love, you end up loving too hard and get hurt
It’s okay, you’re okay
I know you worry about finding the “right one” or if you are enough, but you are. God says you are, God says you a fearfully and wonderfully made.
You do not need to listen to the lies of insecurities that play on repeat in your head.
Do not let them play like a record spinning in circles.
Instead allow your mind to be transformed by truth.
The truth that says It’s okay, your okay
The truth that says you are adequate
The truth that says you are made in the image of God
Look in the mirror and do not look at what you are not or who you wish to be.
Look in the mirror and look at your eyes
Someday those eyes will be looking back at you in the form of your child who is crying out and you’ll say
It’s okay, you’re okay
That child will love you more than you can even love yourself
It will cry for your touch
It will crave your attention
It will seek your affection
It may be a long time before that happens but…
It’s okay, you’re okay
Be honest with yourself, do not just cover up your emotions by saying “I’m fine”
It’s okay to not be okay,
But instead of falling into the downward spiral of self hatred or lies just remind yourself that
It’s okay, you’re okay
Slow down, you do not need your whole life figured out or even tomorrow.
Just focus on today and say
Its okay, you’re okay
God's Timing
I finished the poem then I finished my mom's poem (Comment below if you want me to share the poem called A Mother's Love). I then went to bed. I woke up and felt led to send my finished poem to the girl I wrote it for. She replied to the poem with "omg Cody, I just had a full mental breakdown last night about those things in the poem. Really thank you so much you don't know how much that helped to hear that. Thank you so so much." I was so happy to hear this and she told me more about the situation and how the poem correlated so perfectly with her situation.
I share these stories with you not to boast or for my own glory. None of the stories above are from my own wisdom or knowledge. It is not because I have some crazy ability to speak or write to others. The reason I was able to touch these people's lives is because I allowed the Holy Spirit to speak through me. I slowed down to the speed of patience and set my watch to God's timing. I share these stories to show you guys that the Holy Spirit actually moves and works in our lives each and every day. When we are in God's presence daily and allow him to speak while we open our ears to hear his voice, crazy things happen. I hope these stories encourage all of you and build your faith in what the Holy Spirit can do. The poem above was written for a specific girl, but I have a feeling it can resonate with many of you. I know that culture can put heavy pressure on you that you need to have everything figured out. Culture can place these invisible standards that always leave you feeling less than enough. I want each and every one of you to know that God says you are enough, He says you are beautiful. He has a purpose for every single one of you. Take a deep breath and just look at what your next step is, even if that next step is getting out of bed. In the Bible it says God is the lamp unto our feet. A lamp does not usually shine very brightly. That means if he is our lamp then we can only see the next step and the only way to see the step after that one is to take the first. So I encourage you to keep walking in faith one step at a time and let God lead you with his lamp. If you walk on Gods path for you, then no matter what culture or others say about you, you will be right where you are supposed to be.
I pray that each one of you girls discover the identity that God has for you and not the identity culture or the world places upon you. Do not let the lies and insecurities that come from the enemy be the strings of your desires, but instead let the truth of who God says you are ring true and resonate in the deepest parts of your innermost heart, mind, and soul.
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