Entry 15: Audience of One - 11/12/22

   In class this week the topic was Outreach Training. It was very practical and literal training compared to the weeks prior that were based on broader more figurative content. Previous weeks contained messages that were possibly received differently by each student based on their perception and walk with the Lord, but obviously still abiding in truth. One of many things I love about YWAM is that each week we have different speakers. Each one was specifically chosen by YWAM leaders through prayer. Every speaker so far has been unique and conveyed their message so effectively. By switching up the teachers it helps us students stay engaged and receive all we can each week because we are not tired of hearing the same speaker teach the same way on different topics. Sometimes if we do the same things over and over without changing it up or trying it from a new perspective it can cause us to live from habit and not from the heart. I decided to switch it up this week by not going to the gym in the mornings. (I still did the mandatory workouts once a day with my trekking team) Instead of going to the gym and preparing my flesh for trekking and outreach I decided I would spend that time in scripture and prayer strengthening my spirit. In that strengthening I got humbled time and time again this week. Through the process of humility I gained a deeper understanding of God and myself. My experience's also gave me a deeper understanding of why it is so important to be living for an audience of One.

Outreach Training

   The beginning of outreach training taught me that each and every culture deals with different struggles and in those differences it helps if us as missionaries approach them with their uniqueness's in mind. For instance someone in America may struggle with guilt because of the things they have done; whereas, someone from China may feel no guilt in their transgressions, but they feel tremendous shame. If we listen to the Holy Spirit when trying to share the Gospel he can use any words we say to speak to the heart of the listener, but it definitely helps to understand their background before approaching them. If I was to approach someone in China and tell them how God can removes all guilt and he forgives us of our sins it may not resonate as deeply with them. If I was to tell them that they do not need to live in shame because honor can be found at the cross, and that their past shortcomings do not define them but instead God defines them as his Son or Daughter. Then it may resonate much deeper because they can relate and see God is the solution to their emptiness. The country in which I am going to for outreach is predominately Hindu. Hindus believe they must achieve good karma by not straying off the path of dharma which is ones divine purpose. They believe that through works they can justify their sins and by making sacrifices then they will receive good karma. By working their way up the ranks called the caste system which is a social hierarchy based on their previous life they can hopefully perform enough good works to advance ranks in their next life and subsequently experience moksha which means freedom from reincarnation.  This means they are always striving for completeness and it comes from a place of fear that they are not enough. Because fear is one of their core lies we learned this week to approach them with God's power and unconditional love. A great way to approach Hindus's is to express that it is by grace we have been saved, by no works or law can we be saved, but only through the death and resurrection of Jesus. We learned to share with them that they do not need to strive for everlasting life based on performance but instead it is a promise once we make God the Lord of our lives. An important thing to emphasize is that Jesus is not just another god that the Hindus can add to their long list of other gods, but instead they must leave all other false gods and give their life to the One True God, Jesus Christ and make him Lord above all. 

   We also learned a lot of basic but important things this week in regards to approaching others and being approached. From having good eye contact to answering questions like "are you a missionary" or "why are you here?" (*Remember that the cultural norms and answers to these questions may very from country to country) The teachers encouraged us to go into outreach with a servant hearted mentality ready to serve. We learned to be humble and use less "I" language and more "we" language. One day in class we got into groups of 3 and took turns pretending to open a sermon before the main speaker begun. our job was to warm up the crowd by honoring the host, introducing ourselves and why we are there, compliment the nation, convey what the message is gonna be about, and lastly pray. I really enjoyed this because instead of just listening to what we should do we actually got to practice it and put what we just heard into action. Another exercise we did in class was turning a normal conversation into a story from the Bible that would relate to their current situation. Stories rather than facts are much more effective in most countries to convey a message other than western cultures. Because of this we can use stories from the Bible just as Jesus did in the new testament when he taught by parables.

   An important thing to do before telling any story is to ask the person who you are talking to if they would like to hear a story. In other countries they can easily become offended if you just start telling them a story without asking first. When it came time to practice, the teacher told us to pretend you are in a refugee camp talking to someone who has been fleeing from country to country because their lives are in danger. The teacher said to pretend the refugee just asked what my culture is like. This is how I responded and led into a story that ultimately lead to Christ. I said "I have been very blessed to grow up in a culture where I have much freedom and can relax often, but in that relaxation many people become passive and do nothing with their lives. I cannot relate to the extreme conditions that you have had to endure but I do know a story of someone who has experienced similar things. Can I tell you a story? The story is about a man named David, when he was young he was promised to become King of Israel, but before he became King he would run from a man named Saul who was trying to kill him for 20 years. David went from cave to cave in an abundance of pain and tiredness running for his life, but in all his running he had one thing that gave him hope and that was Christ Jesus. David always cried out to the Lord and the Lord protected him from the hands of David's enemies. In Davids weakness he always boasted the Lords strength and the Lords strength was shown. After awhile David did become King and God blessed him" I then said to the refugee, "You too can cry out to the Lord and boast God's strength when you are weak. God is always with you and even though we can experience trials and dark caves the Lord will deliver you. Someday whether that be on earth or in heaven if you remain faithful to the Lord then. you will receive blessings on blessings." This was super fun to do in class and I felt really encouraged and excited to use this in real encounters because stories are a way I feel God has blessed me in that I can convey a message through them!

Humility

   I feel as if every week while I have been at YWAM I have grown more and more in humility. Each week has been in a different form whether that be gaining freedom from entitled beliefs or surrendering my thoughts before I talk to someone because I learned to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me. Each week has helped me stray farther away from flesh and closer to Jesus. This week humility did not come from class but instead my workouts and the realization of my flesh's fragility. The first humbling experience came on Monday when our trekking team worked out. The workout looked relatively simple on the surface, but after a couple rounds I felt like I was going to throw up and after I finished it took me 30 minutes to shake the nauseous feeling. This showed me I should never underestimate a workout and that at any moment I can go from feeling physically strong to weak and sick. A verse from proverbs says "pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before the fall." I got to see the manifestation of this verse after my workout. Then on Tuesday when my outreach team was gathered to pray one of my leaders spoke about humility and how important it is that when we go to the villages that we come low with a servants heart. She inspired me to write a poem of prayer for my outreach team that we could proclaim together. In the process of seeking out what humility is for that poem I learned a lot about pride. Pride is what caused a war in Heaven. It was through the Devils pride that caused him to want to be greater than God. In proverbs 6 there are 7 things that God specifically hates and the very first one stated is pride. When we walk in pride we are the most like the devil because pride was the original sin in which he fell. Pride can lead to every other vice and says "I do not need you God." God does not hate us when we are prideful but he hates the act of pride, he does not hate the sinner, he hates the sin. God says he will resist the proud, but will show grace to the humble. We cannot have humility on our own, it is only through God that we can do all things. With that wisdom gained from research and scripture this is the poem I ended up writing for my outreach team. 

   Lord We come before you because we know we cannot do it alone. 

We pray that through your strength we may be delivered from pride.

We pray that you make even the smallest strongholds of pride known in our minds so that we can allow you to eradicate them. 

Jesus I pray that you obliterate any pride in our hearts for it is like a virus that takes control and becomes the lord of our lives. 

Prides says we do not need you, but we most definitely do. 

Deliver us Lord, Deliver us.

I pray that each one of us may abide in humility. 

Lord give us your servant hearted characteristics so that we may walk in submission to what you have for us.

May our minds sit in your presence and may we reside in prayer. 

Through prayer we can lay our pride at your feet 

causing the fragrance of your presence 

to synthesize humility within our deepest essence.

   Prayer is how we can abide in humility. In prayer we say I need you Lord and I submit to what you plan for me not what I have in mind. I really enjoyed the last sentence that the Holy Spirit wrote through me. If you think about it, to lay something at someones feet we must get on our knees and go low, practically bowing down to them with our head down. That is why I say lay it as Jesus's feet because we are surrendering with our heads bowed. The fragrance of his presence refers to the the women who broke an expensive bottle of perfume and poured it unto Jesus. This took place shortly before he was crucified which meant as he was taking his least breath nailed to the cross, the smell of expensive perfume would have been rising up from his feet. That is why I say the fragrance of his presence because when we realize what Jesus did for us and as we lay our pride at his feet. It is then humility can become synthesized within our deepest essence. Essence meaning soul, spirit or core. I pray that throughout my life I may be delivered from pride and have the awareness as well as people around me to keep me in humility. 

Audience of One

   Later in the week on Wednesday after I ate breakfast I was trying to worship but my mind could not stop thinking about what I was going to eat after worship was over. In this moment I decided I was gonna fast. I previously had been fasting once every week from lunch Thursday to lunch Friday so a complete 24 hours but I decided I wanted to really push myself this time and see how the flesh and spirit would react to a 48 hour fast. the rest of Wednesday went well and I fed my spirit bread which is the Bible every time in place of feeding the flesh. I did a workout on Wednesday, 6 hours into the fast and it went great. My stomach did not hurt or feel sick because it had no food in it and because my spirit was welly fed I had vitality. Then on Thursday around 33 hours into the fast I had another workout. This time my flesh was extremely weak and I was malnourished. Before the workout started I prayed God would give me strength, not the normal strength I usually pray for. I usually pray God give me supernatural strength so I can do this workout in the fastest time with crazy strength. This time I prayed God give me the strength to have humility in my weakness and be able to know I will not be able to kill this workout but instead in weakness I will do my best. The workout was insanely hard and just the warmup had me gasping for air. As we started I knew it was gonna be difficult. Half way through the workout I felt as if in was gonna pass out. (I know it is not wise to fast like this and then workout and I will not do it again, but I just once wanted to push myself and see how weak and tired I could get yet continue to boast Gods strength and continue on.) When I realized I was only half way through the workout I said to myself "1 more, or 100 more, all the more for the Lord'". Meaning whether I have 1 rep or 100 reps I will do them all through Christ and for his glory. After the workout was over I was laying on the ground extremely tired and fatigued. I said to myself "that was definitely the worst workout I have had while here at YWAM, I could barely do any weight or reps." Then I heard God speak to me and what he said left me in awe. He said "Compared to any other workout, today you gave me the most in which you had and that is greater." I realized that it truly does not matter what we present to God but instead the heart posture behind it. I realized that to man's perspective that workout for me looked like a bad performance, but to God he was proud because he knew I gave everything I was able to give in that moment while being so weak and tired. After this I realized just how weak my flesh can become in such a short amount of time. Last week I was thriving in every workout and now this week I was humbled again and again. I was so happy, it made me realize my fragility and just how much more I need God. I wrote a poem expressing this. 

The Light in my cave

Lord I thank you for the reminder of my fragility, for it only reminds me of how much more I need you. The exploration of my mind and heart can be like a walk in a dark cave, but when I call unto the Lord he is my Light. It is my decision how deep and how far I go. God rewards those who will go to the depths of their mind to allow the Lords light to shine even brighter. As I descend deeper and deeper my body becomes weak and my head grows nauseous, but in that weakness I allow God to lead me even more. The Lord is pleased at one who voluntarily journeys into darkness just for the glory of the Lord to shine. It is in the deepest depths of my cave that I find the nuggets of gold, the gold that is revelations which cause purification through the extraction of my iniquities. Through this extraction it causes me to gaze more extensively on the pure gold that is Jesus Christ.