Chills in the Heat of Hawaii
This journal has been written throughout this week and finalized on Wednesday, it is a recap of Sunday-Tuesday. A struggle I was not prepared for was that I am having so much fun and so many encounters with God that I do not even know which ones to share. I have been journaling for myself everyday so I can try and remember all the crazy events, then I try to condense them and write them in these entry’s. This one is long and full of amazing experiences. I hope you enjoy.
Sunday, First day of class
On Sunday I woke up at 6 o clock and went for a run. Theres a nice road that goes right along the beach and then wraps up and back around to make a nice 4.6 mile loop. I listened to Mathew chapters 3-8. I want to condition my mind to scripture so that it will be the overflow of me and my tongue will only speak what is True and of Christ. After I finished listening to Mathew I listened to worship music. I’m not gonna lie and say I did not use to get pretty turnt to some rap music, but there is no better motivational music for me than worship music. Listening to the right Christian song is like turning up in a sold out baby keem concert. (Yes I have been to a baby keem concert), but even better because the feeling of energy is so real and so raw. It is what our souls truly desire, to worship our creator. I felt tired but kept pushing and kept pushing than right before the home stretch I fell on my knee’s in adoration and gratitude when I heard the lyrics from the song Forever by Bethel, “The ground began to shake, the stone was rolled away, his reckless love could not be overcome. Now death were is your sting? Our resurrected king has rendered you defeated.” When I heard this I started weeping because the night before a speaker painted a very vivid, raw, and gruesome picture of Jesus’s death. In my scintilla of pain compared to Christ’s I could start to grasp the sacrifice he made, and realized how hard it would be to not use the authority he had to make all the pain stop. I then sprinted my final lap and ran past where I originally told myself I was going to stop. I really enjoy going beyond my target destination, time, or reps when working out. Because in life sometimes you think you have reached a finish line but you just need to push through a little more. I felt so much vitality and joy that I ran so hard I started throwing up. I almost passed out until I laid on the ground and caught my breath. After I got some water I felt so good and refreshed. It felt as if my whole self was renewed again and my mind was ready for what the day was to bring. The cold shower that followed felt soooo good. Then we went to the Flags of the Nations and got a shuttle bus to a church right on the Ocean. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve had, mostly after the night and morning prior. The entire sermon was about courage and how Shadrach, Meshach and, and Abednego displayed it when they were getting persecuted. This was so cool to me because my word for the entire trip was courage. It was given to me from my aunt who had a vision while praying for me. After church I called Mack, Mia, and Momma and told them how I was doing and about my encounter the night prior. Some friends hit my line and said they were going to go cliff jumping and I was sooo down. We got an Uber and went 15 minutes south of campus to this insane cliff/cave called The End of the World. I did a backflip and I felt so accomplished after because it was my first time doing a flip from somewhere that high. To end the night off I went to the prayer room to pray and meditate on his word. The prayer room is an entire vibe in itself. It is one of the only buildings on campus with AC, so your body already feels more relaxed and at peace on top of the power of prayer and gazing upon Christ and his character. I am currently writing this journal in a hammock hanging in a truly magnificent tree. When I say “in” I truly mean in it. I am currently 20 feet high and surrounded by its branches with 15+ other hammocks, that’s just how big and climbable it is.
Monday, Strong Support
Woke up and got breakfast than went to worship. I really enjoy worshiping each morning because it gets your mind and body in such a grounded and beneficial headspace for the day. From worship we went to the Fire and Fragrance tent and while we were just getting started a speaker was asking questions like who went to the beach? or who went to target? Then he asked has anyone been baptized yet? And I raised my hand and a whole eruption of celebration broke out, read about baptism here Entry 7: The Journey Begins - 10/2/22. It made my heart pond and felt amazing. After the rush of adrenaline from the great support, he said can we get 3 people to give a testimony. I had no option but to stand up because God worked my baptism out so well, it is only right that I share it with others. Through courage I stood there in fear. Remember, just because you are courageous does not mean you do not fear it means you may fear but you do it anyway. Then I told my baptism story to 300 people through the strength of the Lord and it was all out of God because I am not one who usually volunteers to speak In public. When I finished they were cheering and I was pumping my fist out of excitement. While I was listening to the sermon I felt anxiety and lies from the enemy that I did a bad job delivering my story. I felt anxious and my head was throbbing, but I continued to speak truth over it. It helped when the speaker said your identity is not what you feel. With that in mind I kept repeating positive affirmations and the truth of Christ. It was like the devil was mad I took that step of faith and so he attacked. When we started worshipping I felt the uneasy feeling slowly leaving and by the end I felt great. It was super encouraging when 10+ different people told me how much they enjoyed listening to my testimony. One dude from Costa Rica told me he even called his friend back home just to tell her about it. I ended up getting a video of my testimony that someone took and after I watched it, I realized that I delivered it very well, and was encouraged because I knew they were lies from the devil. I believe when we are in the parasympathetic nervous system and we feel the spirit of God, then his peace and love is enlisted. Sometimes when anxiety or fear rises and I am in the sympathetic nervous system it becomes very hard to feel Much, this is when I believe it is important to take the things you’ve memorized and speak truth over your feelings. You have to think greater than you feel and give it to God. The last scheduled activity of the night was ministry worship. God’s presence was felt throughout all the worship and displayed through chills throughout my body. At the end a speaker started asking people if they had parts that needed to be healed physically. People raised their hand and we all prayed together. After the prayer he asked if it had worked and many people raised their hand. He asked them to come up to the stage and say what God healed. One girl had scars from cutting herself on her arm, and on the stage after the prayer they were completely healed and gone. Then we heard a story about a girl who had X-ray pictures of her spine that looked like an S due to scoliosis and after the healing from the power of Christ they now have X-ray pictures of it and it is completely straight. Everyone was going crazy and we were all just praising. To end the night I spent time in the prayer room then went to bed.
Tuesday, Chills
Today I Went with my room leader to a gym and bought a membership. I’m super excited because I had a vision of myself working out in a place that looks a-lot like this gym. It’s really big and has tons of machines and weights, it also has a sauna! We Got back in time for class and the lecture was about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo, which was preached about on Sunday from a completely different church, and that church talked about courage with it. Courage was my main word for this journey. The lecture was also about David too, who is my favorite man from the Bible besides Jesus. It felt as this entire lecture was aimed at me. I was feeling chills All day and the presence of Christ. We started praising and I felt I wanted to go on my knees but I thought about a verse from Mathew 6:5 that talks about not praying out of flesh just for others to see, so I went behind the tent and got on my knee. As I was on my knees I was rushing with his presence and I started to feel God’s light coming into me through my throat and hands. He was grabbing my throat with his hands and filling it and my vocal cords with his light. Then I started crying and worshipping. After awhile I started speaking in tongues for the first time. My face felt as if I had beard hairs growing on it like the Main of the Lion of the Lord. This made me think of my old youth leaders wife, Chris, because she said she saw a vision of me sometime last year. It was a Lion roaring representing God and it was coming out of my mouth. So I started writing straight from the spirit. After this encounter I went straight to the prayer room instead of eating lunch so I could write about the it. After the encounter happened I did not even remember what I wrote in the poem, but I know it will change lives. Click to read poem Poetry. After I wrote the poem during the encounter I kept crying then curled into a fetal position and I could reallllllllly feel God, not just the spirit but actually God and it made me laugh in awe and I felt great tremendous joy, but I was also crying my eyes out. While I was laying there I could feel God anointing me, I told God I am all in for his will and I could feel him filling me with authority and it felt like I was being anointed with great responsibility. Then I got up because the worship leader said we should all dance together, so I got up and started pacing/bouncing back and forth just balling my eyes out because of his sheer presence. Than I heard something in the worship song playing that triggered me to want to repent and so I did, and after the repentance, the encounter was over. I feel like that shows how God is with us but sin still separates us. It is not until Heaven that we can live continuously and always with him and only things of him. Like I stated above after worship and the encounter was over I went to the prayer room so I could write about my experience. As I was walking toward the prayer room everyone else was walking the opposite way toward food. God spoke to me through this and it was that now in this life that I will be living there will be times everyone is walking towards the desires of the flesh, but I should walk toward Christ. After I felt super tired and just in awe of what I had felt. 30 minutes later the flesh was already trying to take away from the significance of the moment. I spoke to myself in positive affirmation "It was an encounter, it was God, do not let the flesh tell you otherwise". I was so encouraged after I told everyone in my room what happened at class. One of them told me how inspirational I was to him and that I was walking so obediently down Gods. He said he loved my curiosity to learn and grow. My room leader, Ethan, also was super encouraging and told me that he was gonna pray for me during worship and right as he reached out to place his hand on me, God told him not to, then seconds later I collapsed and that is when the encounter began. Another great day in Hawaii, praise be to The Creator. Thank you Lord. Only day 2 of YWAM Class…
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