Entry 6: Harvest - 9/28/22

Published on 28 September 2022 at 13:41

Harvest

Wow, this is crazy! Only 1 day until I leave for Hawaii! I am so excited and I feel like it just all the sudden came out of no where. This will be the last journal I write in Minnesota for a long time. I hope to write this weeks second journal on Saturday. Then I can fill you in on how the first couple days went and give input on my first impressions of YWAM, the people, and Hawaii in general. I am so excited and grateful that I have the opportunity to go to Hawaii and later the Himalayan mountains, somewhere like Hawaii may be considered by some as paradise, but I believe paradise is a state of mind and not a location.

"State" of Mind

I have been to some amazing places in my life but at times I have also missed out on beautiful places because mentally the oppression of pain or anxiety caused my mind to not live in the present and feel no joy or peace in this location. My mind could not find the beauty because it was too tired thinking negative thoughts and believing the lies of the enemy. Joy, peace, and contentment come from being present, and living in the moment, they are not at a location like Hawaii. That is why I tried really hard to find joy in Windom earlier this year in the winter season. I was going through a mentally, physically, and spiritually hard time, what I call a “Cave”, but wanted to make sure I overcame it and became content in Windom. I did not want to just leave all my problems behind and hope that Hawaii would solve them. So I took time to pray and ask God to help me heal my relationships, insecurities, and things that could hold me back. During this winter when I was going through this “Cave” I wrote a poem about it (Poetry) Click to read. I hope after reading this post and my poem you can understand my "State" of Mind 1 day before I leave for a great adventure.

Website

I heard a pastor speak this Sunday and something he talked about was not allowing his identity to be in the church. He talked about not allowing it to be an idol and that even though he wants the church to be the best it can be, it cannot become his identity. In that same way I hope to never let this website become my identity, I hope it is a reflection “of” me but does not consume me. Just like everything, too much of anything can be a bad thing, except for Jesus Christ. I had my first realization that this website could easily become an idol when I had a close call two days ago. I was trying to edit my Journal page on this website and something went wrong. All the sudden my first 3 journal entrees were gone and I was really sad and upset about it. The saddest part is that I looked forward to reading my first journal entrees years from now, but another reason it made me sad was because once something is expressed or created it is very hard to remake it. So when a piece of my art/expression shown through those journals was deleted it made me frustrated. Thankfully I found the journals and they were not deleted, and I learned a couple good lessons. One of those would be to save every journal somewhere after I post it. Another thing I learned was to not become too attached. I do not want to let this website hold a piece of my heart and consume me but instead I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind and let this website reflect me. 

YWAM

Like I have stated in earlier journals, I do not have many expectations or worries about YWAM, Hawaii, or the new environment. God has calmed the waves of anxiety in my soul and I am just excited and continuously hit with new affirmations regarding my decision to attend YWAM. My sister, Mackenzie, who has graduated from a YWAM, DTS out of Salem, Oregon informed me that much of the experience is what you make of it. She inspired me to slow down to the speed of patience, and to dig deep into all aspects of YWAM like the relationships, studying, outreach, etc. So with that said

 

A prayer to The Conductor of the Stars

From Dakota

 

whether my head is filled with waves of anxiety like those of a thunderous swell

or the adventure is Glorious, priceless, unable to sell

no matter what my story may tell

let my soul say

It Is Well

 

                                                                                                                                                          Through Christ 

 

Add comment

Comments

There are no comments yet.